Wayne Coyne, singer of The Flaming Lips, brought a dang grenade to the Oklahoma City airport. He didn’t know it was in there. I don’t know why he brings it around. But hey, it happened and there was, shall we say, an incident that shut down an entire terminal at the airport.
Everyone’s reporting it now, but all reports say the event happened on November 10th, so I don’t know what’s going on there. He Tweeted “Sorry Sorry Sorry!! Everyone that was inconvenienced because of my grenade at OKC airport!!”
This was apparently a day after he helped a opossum cross a road.
Some people were less than pleased by the commotion, as evidenced by this Coyne ReTweeted photo.
Anyway, that’s all there is to the story, but I’ve got to give you more than that. Because I have standards. And I like not having to ask my parents for rent. So, let us, for a moment, theorize about what various… uh, applications this inert grenade could have. (Did I mention it was inert? No? Oh, yeah, it didn’t work. I guess I just wanted you to read to this point.)
- Wayne, a one-percenter, was practicing for the inevitable class warfare.
- The airport’s list of things not to bring were particularly lax, and, as a security expert by day, he decided to test their defenses.
- He was at this rager and was so wasted, y’know? Like, Hendrix wasted. And someone was all, “dude, take a grenade. It’ll be wild!” And in his hangover, forgot to take the grenade out of his luggage.
- The grenade was a smoke-screen for the copious amounts of cocaine his other bandmates were smuggling into Los Angeles.
- The grenade was in fact cocaine. Pull the pin, it does you in. Yeah, I just came up with that.
- Coyne had enough of Nickelback and was prepared to do something once and for all for the good of man.
Choose your adventure! I’m out.
Question: What use do you think Coyne had for the grenade?