I’m not going to lie. Sometimes when I wake up, I feel a little Satany.
We’ve all been there, right? Minding our own business, when a bad case of *Satanitis hits us like a ton of bricks. 36-year-old Jason Blair McKiness was clearly infected with Satanitis. At least, that’s what he claimed was the problem when he **set a van on fire. Indeed, Mr. McKiness truly believed that he was Satan.
It just goes to show: Satanitis can affect anyone. McKiness, for example, had finished playing a set with his band, and he was hanging out with his peeps outside of their hotel. It was about 4 a.m. when McKiness decided that it was time to talk about Jesus.
Few environments are more prone to “turning to Jesus” than that of a post-show rock band at 4 a.m. outside a hotel. I’m lying. I can’t think of a single less appropriate time to discuss Jesus Christ. When police arrived to the burning van, McKiness (or “Satan,” if you will) refused to get up from the bumper of the van. He cursed at the police officers, which–and I’m not saying I necessarily buy his story–is something Satan would TOTALLY do.
One of the officers tazed McKiness. He was arrested and then later released, because clearly, the Duluth jail system is ill-equipped to handle our evil overlord.
If you could believe that you were the embodiment of someone or something, who or what would it be? Tell me. We’ll chat. Kisses.
*If you or someone you know is infected with Satanitis, it’s best to call
a priest, the police, a friend to come pick you up and get you away from the infected person.
**Deuteronomy 2:22 speaks of ***Satan having an undeniable hatred of vans.
***I made that up.