Hormone Stops Cheating Bastards From Cheating

Posted on Nov 14 2012 - 4:00pm by Logan Rapp

The hormone Oxytocin has been associated with creating a greater sense of attachment to, I assume, your spouse. But after some research into it, there may be other significant qualities to go with simply being more attached to your significant other.

Oxytocin does a lot of different things, not the least of which are mitigating your social anxiety, reducing stress and depression, and even giving you that little feeling that, hey, you’ve got a buck, drop it in that homeless guy’s cup.

A study from the University of Bonn also started digging into the question of whether or not it may prevent committed people from feeling tempted to cheat. After some research, there are indications that this may be the case. After conducting an experiment wherein men in committed, monogamous relationships were given oxytocin, they discovered that men kept their distance from women they found attractive. 

To make sure they weren’t just making this up in their heads, the experiment was done by providing men with two different nasal sprays — one had oxytocin, one had a placebo. Committed men that were given oxytocin were less comfortable when an attractive woman would get closer to them. 

Single men, obviously, got all up in the lady’s grill regardless of what they were given. Because we single men are animals.

Committed men who were given a placebo, however, did not seem to mind the approach of the attractive woman. And thus begins the pre-nuptial agreements requiring oxytocin to be on the husband’s person at all times. Which I will not sign.

QuestionIs this a great way for men to ensure that their lizard brains don’t make them do something they’ll regret? Or is it a means through which to further prevent people from exercising their own judgment?