Human IED Chris Brown’s struggles with following basic directions continue as a California judge orders a further review of his community service and travel history in connection with his probation requirements stemming from his 2009 assault of pop singer Rihanna.
Brown, still with a tattoo that looks way too similar to a beaten Rihanna on his damn neck (his handlers say it’s a “random woman,” which is so much better), is under the microscope for community service work logs a California judge thought “cryptic.”
Brown, who claims to have worked his community service in his home state of Virginia, responded that he was not required to sign in when he arrived to the site of whatever he said he was doing. Signatures are ridiculously hard to give and get, you know. I’m pretty sure he could’ve gotten away with Instagramming his community serice every now and again, but it’s tough being Breezy.
Oh, and he was smoking a ton of weed once back in California. Or, at least saying that he only ever smoked in Cali, because that’s where he produced a medical marijuana prescription from an acupuncturist. Because Brown apparently doesn’t quite understand that probation is no longer about being within the letter of the law, but your punishment is that a judge can mess you up if she feels like it.
The judge, for her part, didn’t care much for the prescription, noting that a lot of kids “look up” to Brown, then acknowledging his mother, who was in court for her baby boy.
Virginia prosecutors also take issue with suspicions that Brown might have left the country without permission, as they believe there is evidence of a trip to Paris. Did you know that you’re not allowed to leave the country when you’re on probation? It’s crazy, right?
His attorney is Mark Geragos, who wears the “celebrity lawyer” tag like a badge of honor and not the bottom-feeding sleaze-peddling it actually denotes.
Rihanna, for her part, continues to ignore probably every real friend she’s ever had and Tweeted to Breezy publicly and directly: “I’m praying for you and wishing you the best today!”
Brown Retweeted it, and it must have gotten responses Rihanna didn’t care for, and later deleted the Tweet and re-wrote it, swapping out his Twitter handle for the more vague “Baby.”
I’m starting to feel ill. Here’s a picture of Brown’s stupid, stupid neck.
Let’s Talk, Readers:
Does anyone NOT think that’s Rihanna on his neck?