So, again someone’s saying that Bigfoot is a super real thing. But what’s different this time is the person saying that thing: a geneticist that has been analyzing DNA samples of suspected Bigfoots (Bigfeet?). She says that Bigfoot is real and will prove it with science.
With science.
Of course, it isn’t the first time that someone says they’ll prove a fictional thing is real with science. I think some people believe that you can yell “science” and have that be sufficient proof of whatever it is that you’re attempting to make real.
Anyway, Melba S. Ketchum, a veterinarian supervising the effort by DNA Diagnostics in Nacogdoches, Texas, has come out and said that they have conclusive findings of a human relative that is a hybrid between Homo sapiens and an unknown primate: Bigfoot.
The research has yet to be verified by an independent study — shocker. But Ketchum’s story is rather compelling. After thirty years in genetic research and forensics, she worked to keep the alleged Sasquatch samples from not only being contaminated, but using multiple and separate techniques to split the samples and essentially check one another’s work.
Ketchum says of her results:
Early on, we started getting human results on the mitochondrial DNA — that’s maternally inherited and it can show where you’re from. … We split the samples with another forensic lab — one worked on it manually while the other did it robotically, extracting the DNA — and we ran several tests to confirm there was no contamination. And we ended up getting human sequences on many samples.
Naturally, the findings are subject to peer review.
The skeptics are out in force so if this data manages to survive that onslaught, we might actually have some legitimate evidence that a big frickin’ Sasquatch be running out in the forests, yo.
I don’t know what happened just now.